"How we shall miss thy cylindrical barky majesty," was how Jancis Robinson began her eulogy. Robinson is an award-winning wine authority, writer and television personality. She is a Master of Wine and writes extensively and internationally, including for www.jancisrobinson.com and The Financial Times of London. Her most recent books are How To Taste: A Guide To Enjoying Wine (Simon & Schuster) and The World Atlas of Wine (Mitchell Beazley). She continued, "for you've had a jolly good run, Monsieur Bouchon. Even the ancient Greeks and Egyptians knew you could seal their amphorae. You have been marvelous, Corky. Verily a marvel...The sniffing of the cork. How ridiculous is that when the most hideously tainted wines can be topped by perfectly sweet-smelling corks, and the most divine wines emerge from under a stink-bomb of a cork?"

In the spring of this year, Bonny Doon Vineyard released the largest U.S. bottling to date of a fine wine with a screwcap closure, 80,000 cases total of its 2001 vintaged Big House White and Red. These wines retail nationally for approximately $10.00. Over the last ten years, Bonny Doon has experimented with various types of closures and searched for a closure which would minimize so-called "cork taint," which arises in an estimated 5% of wines with cork closures. Bonny Doon's research concluded with the choice of a Stelvin screwcap, developed by the French firm Pechiney and found today on many Swiss, Australian and New Zealand wines (www.pechiney.com).

As a stylish and humorous way to celebrate Bonny Doon's large-scale commitment to the screwcap and the "death" of the cork, Randall Grahm was inspired by an 1884 French novel by J.K. Huysmans, "A Rebours", translated as either "Against Nature" or "Against The Grain." The novel can be viewed online at www.eldritchpress.org/jkh/rebours.html. . As Grahm explained in his remarks, "the book deals with the perils of an extremely jaded sensibility, of connoisseurship taken to its ultimate extreme."

Inspired by the novel, Grahm embellished to create an extravaganza. Bonny Doon's research estimated the birth-death dates of the fine wine cork as 1585-2002, so these dates were used for the death notices placed in newspapers around the country. He commissioned Santa Cruz, California sculptor Wes Modes (www.thespoon.com/art) to create the corpse of corks, which would be the guest of honor in its casket in New York. He devised an all-black menu with chef Alison Awerbuch of Abigail Kirsch Catering in New York.

The 2001 Big House White and 2001 Big House Red are part of Bonny Doon's Ca' del Solo family of wine. The 2001 Big House White is a blend of sauvignon blanc, riesling, pinot blanc, viognier, pinot grigio and malvasia bianca); the 2001 Big House Red is a blend of syrah, cabernet franc, carignane, sangiovese, barbera, petite sirah, petit verdot, dolcetto, and grenache. Bonny Doon's Le Cigare Volant was California's first tribute to Chateauneuf-du-Pape, a blend of grenache, syrah, mourvedre and cinsault. The first vintage produced was in 1984. The current release (2000 vintage) sells nationally for approximately $30.00.

Bonny Doon has pioneered unusual blending and sourcing, such as Pacific Rim Riesling, a blend of rieslings from California, Germany and Washington State. Bonny Doon is noted for producing an array of proprietarily named wines, including Old Telegram, Critique of Pure Riesling, Heart of Darkness, Clos de Gilroy and Le Cigare Volant. The winery is also known for its unconventional packaging, from see-through and multi-piece labels to hourglass-shaped bottles, and the use of visionary artists, such as Ralph Steadman. Bonny Doon has two tasting rooms: in Santa Cruz, California (831/425-4518) and in Paso Robles (805/239-5614). Directions and further details at www.bonnydoonvineyard.com.

"While we at Bonny Doon Vineyard personally believe that their invitation to enjoin the debate is precipitated by the fact that they currently have 3 1/2 legs in the tar pit," proclaims Grahm, "we are nevertheless quite willing to offer a spirited contribution to the ongoing discussion. With that in mind, we present herein the Bonny Doon Vineyard Top 10 Reasons for Using Screwcaps." This list has been quoted in recent late night television monologues and may be examined below.

TOP TEN REASONS FOR USING "BONNY DOON" SCREWCAP WINES

10. Never pay corkage fees again.

9. When celebrating significant occasions with one's colleagues (parole, commutation of sentence), often difficult to locate a corkscrew.

8. "Reverse" chic is just so in.

7. Can begin conversational gambit with waitress with line, "Would you, er, unscrew my bottle?"

6. Perfect beverage for clothing optional events.

5. Will never fall for the old "left-handed" corkscrew gag again.

4. Hard to find corkscrews down by the railroad tracks.

3. Extremely humorous back-label can be pressed into service at occasional lulls in the conversation.

2. You can no longer be accused of being a cork sniffer.

1. You will never again experience the heartbreak of 2,4, 6-TCAoriasis (the chemical culprit in damaged wine).