The tradition of sneering at Americans had become such an entrenched part of their culture that most French men and women actually forgot precisely why they were anti-American. As recently as five years ago, there were even signs that some of the most dedicated French chauvinists had even begun to forgive the Americans for whatever their sins were supposed to have been. All of that progress was forgotten several years ago when the Americans opened EuroDisney, just 28 kilometers from Paris, and of a sudden, anti-American sentiments rose to new heights throughout France. All of which is really quite reasonable, for whatever else Eurodisney may represent, it is the par excellence form of cultural imperialism.

Like many of the French, I have never forgotten that in addition to whatever charms he may have had, that Walt Disney was an F.B.I. informer. Also like the French, I have had quite enough of Disney's sentimental, artificial and simplistic interpretation of the meaning of life and my recent visit (the second in several years, it should be mentionned) to EuroDisney was inspired by neither a need to shake the paw of Mickey Mouse nor to visit Sleeping Beauty in her Castle. I had come because the EuroDisney theme park, Festival Disney (which is an Ameican style nightlife and entertainment center located just outside the park), and the Disney Hotels that now occupy much of what was once part of the sleepy village of Marne-la-Vallee contain 66 "food outlets".

I started my tastings at "Walt's: An American Restaurant", which is located in the heart of the theme park, on Main Street, U.S.A. Like the architecture of the street itself, "Walt's" is supposedly modelled after what small-town America was supposed to look like in 1900. One quickly realizes that real America and this hyper-modern Hollywood inspired version of America have very little in common. What is ultimately American, however, is the big smile and the warm greeting that one receives on entering the restaurant. My own waitress asked me "And how are you today?" with such kind solicitude that it was almost as if she suspected that I was suffering from some rare, uncurable disease.

The menu here, as in every other food outlet in the vast complex is in both English and French. What was listed on the menu as Scottish smoked salmon with a mini bagel, onions and capers was little more than a bagel with lox, and the veal Oscar, which was served with asparagus and crab meat disappointed me because even though the meat was quite tender the asparagus were tinned and not fresh. To make things worse, I was kept busy picking tiny pieces of shells out of the crab meat. The ultimately American chocolate ice cream sundae that was served to me was fine, but was hardly an appropriate dessert to follow smoked salmon and veal. The American families dining here, many of whom were soldiers visiting from military basis in Germany and Italy, seemed delighted with what they found. The French family sitting next to me thought it was"all a bit bourgeois". Personally, I thought the food was mediocre and that the price of FF 270, not including wine, was a bit exaggerated.

I continued my stroll on Main Street, a land that combines second hand dreams, nostalgia and novelty and stopped to sample the fare at "Annette's Diner", a 1950s style eatery where a waitress on roller skates served me a truly mediocre hamburger that had been overcooked and came with far too much ketchup. I also entered "Carnegie's" where what was supposed to have been a New York style pastrami sandwich was served on French bread, with distinctly Romanian and not at all New York style pastrami. Someone had made the heinous error of putting ketchup on my pastrami, but as soon as my waiter and I realized the error the sandwich was replaced. Even with mustard, however, the sandwich was not good. Including a small side order of coleslaw and a Coca Cola, the experience set me back FF 150. By now, licking my wounds, I was desperate for something truly European, so I stopped at a coffee bar for an espresso. To my great dismay, the espresso was served in a plastic cup.

Even though I had no great desire to explore Fantasyland, Discoveryland, Adventureland or Frontierland, I entered the various theme parks to see what culinary surprises awaited there. After brief encounters with a group of pirates, a 3-D hologram version of Michael Jackson, an odd looking purple and orange dragon and a flying elephant, I made my way to the "Silver Spur Steakhouse". The hyper-realistic Wild-West atmosphere of this restaurant which is complete with waiters and waitresses dressed like cowboys and cowgirls, a group of can-can dancers and a few French-speaking sheriffs carrying pistols did little to please me but the food surprised me by being quite good. In fact, the grilled T-bone steaks, roast beef and grilled chicken, all of which had been imported from the United States, were excellent. The fact that a meal for two here will cost about FF 700 plus wine did not surprise me because by now I was rapidly growing accustomed to the fact that everything here is overpriced.

A little later on, I peeked in at the "Auberge de Cendrillon" but decided that eating with a lifesize Goofie and Pluto running around the room for the supposed "entertainment" of the guests was simply not for me. From here, knowing that Americans make some truly great frankfurters, pizza and ice cream, I wandered off to sample the fare at a few of the 40 fast food outlets that are to be found absolutely everywhere in the park. Alas, the frankfurter I tried was mushy and under-seasoned and had nothing at all in common with those one associates with fond memories from Nathan's in Coney Island or with the Stage Deli; the pizza reminded me of the frozen ones that are sold in supermarkets; the strawberry ice cream was neither creamy nor rich enough and the popcorn was too salty. By now yearning for another cup of coffee, I stopped at one of the street-side stands for a cup of "real American coffee". Real American coffee, it should be understood is a liquid that is weak, watery and almost entirely devoid of flavor. The cup of coffee I received, which came in a styrofoam cup, met every one of those qualifications.

Eurodisney executives proudly boasts that the food outlets (they seem to have an aversion to the word "restaurant") in their hotels are particularly special. The eight hotels, which charge anywhere from FF 550 for basic accommodations at the motel-like Santa Fe to FF 3000 at the Victorian palace known as the Disney Hotel have a total of 4,000 rooms and each boasts its own eateries. As each of the hotels is based on a theme (a highly stylized Manhattan, a town in the Wild-West, a New England resort town, the Rocky Mountains), so are the restaurants.

The California Grill at the Disneyland Hotel, for example, features a wood burning grill, California wines and quasi-experimental California cuisine. Dining on first courses such as a smoked goat's cheese tart or beef carpaccio with basil and main courses like salmon in raspberry syrup or veal chops with black olives will cost about FF500 per person, including wine. The food, frankly is good, the ambiance is sophisticated and pleasant and the service is excellent. In fact, this may just be the best of the food outlets in the entire complex and the prices actually represent good value for money.

The specialties of the supposedly highly prestigious "Club Manhattan" at the Hotel New York include dishes such as lobster Thermidor, smoked salmon served with caviar, foie gras and tournedos Rossini (one of the rare truly French dishes to be found at Eurodisney) and, even though the food is acceptable it is far from special and the prices, of between FFr 600 - 800 per person for dinner make one think twice about dining here. Far lower down on the culinary scale of acceptability is the food at the "Chuck Wagon Cafe", the restaurant located in the 1,000 room Hotel Cheyenne. The fixed price menu here includes a western barbecue of an overcooked steak, an under-seasoned and not at all tasty hamburger, several over-smoked and far too dry ribs, unlimited visits to the salad bar, and dessert, but the meal was definitely not worth the price of FF 175 per person.

None of what I had experienced up to this point had prepared me for the truly catastrophic meal that I was served while at ""Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show". For the price of FF 300 for adults (and FF 200 for children under 11), one receives a free cowboy hat and what is one of the most pathetic and artificial wild-west shows ever staged anywhere. During my visit, a make believe Buffalo Bill spent a great deal of his time trying not to fall off his horse; a French version of Annie Oaklie fired blank bullets at artificial candles; a group of poorly organized cowboys proved incapable of lassoing even the sleepiest or most confused of cows; and eight sorely abused buffaloes spent most of their time trying to stay out of the way out of a bunch of extremely tame "Indians", all of whom had French accents.

The entrance price also gave me the privilege of dining together with 1,000 of the noisiest and most vulgar people I have ever encountered (the kind that I am convinced are close cousins to those who start riots at football games). The meal itself, which is served by French "cowboys" carrying huge metal buckets from which they ladle your food into cowboy style nesting gear was even more of a comedy of errors than the wild-west show. The chili concoction was one of the worst I have ever tasted. The kidney beans had been so overcooked that they were falling apart and the dish had not even the vaguest hint of hot peppers. Overall the dish was so bad that it would have embarrassed any real Texan. The meat that was served as a main course tasted as if it had been soaked in diesel fuel before it had been barbecued, the baked potato was lumpy, the vegetables were so overcooked that they were unidentifiable and the dessert, which was some sort of apple creation, looked so unappetizing that I could not even force myself to taste it.

I managed to escape before my 1,000 companions had finished their meal and made my way to "Key West Seafood". Dining out-of-doors, with a view of the lake, it was actually possible for a few moments to forget where I was and to settle down to a feast of simply but perfectly cooked Florida blue crabs in garlic sauce, giant New Orleans spiced shrimps, and lime pie, all of which were excellent. Frankly, the food was so good that I did not even mind that the price of the meal was FF 500, including two beers. I did, however, object to the fact that in the middle of my meal Mickey and Minnie Mouse made their way in to entertain me. I prefer to take my meals without mice.

Because EuroDisney is working hard to attract Europeans to their facilities, they are trying hard to downplay their American connection. They have, for example, devoted themselves to convincing Frenchmen, Belgians and Germans that much of the food they will find at these "outlets" is European in style. It is not and despite the French names given to many of the dishes served in some of the more expensive restaurants, the vast majority of dishes served here have their roots in America. Veal Oscar, for example, was first made by Oscar Waldstein, a Russian Jew who immigrated to the United States and invented the dish while he was the chef at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel; lobster thermidor was first served in 1897 at New York City's fabulous Delmonico's Restaurant; and coquilles Saint Jacques wrapped in bacon is a dish that originated in New Orleans.

Entrance to the theme park costs 250 FF per adult and FF 175 per child; rooms at the Disneyland hotel go as high as FF 3350; and meals at the better "food outlets" cost anywhere from FF 150 - 800 per person. At those prices I would much prefer to avoid Mickey and his friends completely by staying in Paris, taking a room at the Grand hotel, having lunch at the "Ambassade d'Auvergne", going for dinner to "Guy Savoy" and then to seek my entertainment at the Paris Opera. In truth, if ever again I find myself in the area of Marne-la-Vallee, it will not be to visit or dine at Eurodisney.

© Daniel Rogov