I couldn't resist. Considering that I'm always writing about the foodstuffs that go into our bodies, the time had finally come to write about foods that go ONTO our bodies. That I am not the first to think of using edible items as medicines or as cosmetics is obvious. About 3,300 years ago, Pharaoh Ramses II decided that rubbing a mixture of crushed onions, garlic and honey onto his scalp would cure his baldness. Ramses was wrong, but since that time it has sometimes been difficult to distinguish between those foods we take into our body and those we spread on them.

It is possible that no woman has ever been more concerned with the smoothness of her skin than Cleopatra. In addition to washing her face regularly with a blend of dandelions and olive oil to remove the freckles she so detested, she bathed regularly in a mixture of buttermilk and honey to eliminate wrinkles. Her regular shampoo was made by combining egg yolks and vinegar but, if she was in an amatory mood, Cleopatra would follow this by rinsing her hair in water that had been steeped with rosemary, thyme and sage.

Nor did the use of edible foods as cosmetics end with the Egyptians. Marie de Medici bathed daily in warm milk; cleaned her face with a blend of honey and fresh eggs; used a hand cream made by combining eggs, finely ground almonds and rosewater; and, when she was older darkened her gray hair by rinsing it in water in which the skins of onions had been boiled. Joan of Arc treated her rough hands by rubbing them with honey; Marie Antoinette shampooed her hair with a mixture of eggs, white wine vinegar and rum; the 18th century French courtesan, Madame Tallien enjoyed bathing in strawberry water to keep her skin soft and velvety (about 10 kilograms of berries were crushed for each of her baths), and Grace Kelly was specially fond of a hand cream made by blending potatoes, almond oil, glycerin and rosewater.

Men have also relied on foodstuffs for their cosmetics. It is probably true, however, that they have not used them as wisely as women. In Victorian England, for example, when long hair for men was considered particularly fashionable, it was widely believed that a mixture of raw onions and carrots rubbed into the scalp would make the hair grow faster. The Russian mystic Rasputin advocated rubbing the body with a mixture of chicken fat, honey and sage "to produce a scent irresistible to the opposite sex", and Danton, the most foppish of the French revolutionaries, bathed regularly in water in which turnips, potatoes and leeks had been boiled.

While there may be a modicum of nonsense involved in the thinking of some of these people, there is also a good deal of sense to be found here. Many potions made with the foods and herbs we usually associate with the culinary rather than the cosmetic arts are actually quite effective in cleaning, scenting and otherwise refreshing the body. In addition to being pleasant to use and gentle to the skin, they are inexpensive and easy to make. The "recipes" below, several of which come from Selena Ibbott's charming book An English Rose (Ashgorve Press, Bath) call for nothing that cannot be obtained in a supermarket or neighborhood pharmacy.

Cucumber Face Cream

2 large cucumbers
6 Tbsp. olive oil
3 Tbsp. white wax
1 1/2 Tbsp. lanolin
2 - 3 drops oil of violets, for scent (optional)

Wash the cucumbers and cut them into slices about 1" (2 1/2 cm) thick with the peel intact. Place the slices in a small mixing bowl, pour over the olive oil, cover and let stand for 24 hours.

In a blender or food processor, blend the cucumbers together with the olive oil and then strain through a sieve.

Over a low flame, melt together the wax and lanolin and add these to the cucumber pulp. Add the oil of violets and beat until the mixture is creamy. Store in a glass jar.

Cucumber Body and Face Cream

For use as a freshener for the skin or face.

3 large cucumbers, peeled
3/4 cup oil of sweet almonds
lanolin as required
white wax as required
1 tsp. tincture of benzoin

Cut the cucumbers into slices about 1" (2 1/2 cm.) thick and place in a jar. Pour over the almond oil. Place the jar in a pan of boiling water, let simmer for 5 - 6 hours and then strain and then measure the liquid.

For every 1/2 cup of liquid add 2 Tbsp. of lanolin and 1 Tbsp. of white wax. Return to the jar, again place in simmering water and heat until the wax and lanolin are melted. Stir well, remove from the flame and beat until creamy, adding the tincture of benzoin while beatng. Ideally stored in a plastic container.

Oatmeal Cleansing Lotion

1 cup rosewater
1 tsp. tincture of benzoin
1 Tbsp. fine oatmeal, sifted

Pour the rosewater into a wide-mouthed jar and to this add the tincture of benzoin, a drop at a time, stirring constantly. Add the oatmeal and shake well before using.

Almond Skin Lotion

For use in cleansing the face, body and hands.

60 almonds
1 cup distilled water
1 Tbsp. sugar

In a mortar, pound the almonds until coarsely crushed. Transfer the almonds to a jar, add the water and sugar and mix well. Store in a sealed glass container. Apply to the skin by moistening a small ball of cotton.

Honey Face Pack

Good for all skin types.

3 egg whites
2 Tbsp. honey
1 1/2 Tbsp. oil of sweet almonds

With a hand or electric whisk, beat the ingredients together.

To use, wash the face with a mixture of warm milk and water and then pat dry with a warm towel. Apply the mixture to the face, not rubbing in, bu simply spreading thickly over the face. Leave inplace for 15 minutes and then wash off with a little fine oatmeal in warm water. Splash the face with cold water.

Grape Juice Face Pack

Specially refreshing and good for all skin types.

about 1/2 kilo seedless white grapes

Mash the grapes to a pulp and push through a sieve. Clean the face and then spread the grape pulp over the face. Leave for 20 minutes and then rinse off. Splash the face with cold water and pat dry with a warm towel.

Milk and Lemon Lotion

Many say this lotion will help disguise unwanted freckles. It will also soften the skin.

1 cup milk
2 slices lemon

Place the lemon slices into the milk and let stand until the milk has curdled slightly (about 3 hours). Remove and discard the lemon and store the milk in the refrigerator, tightly covered. To use, apply the lotion to the skin with cotton pads. Allow the lotion to sink into the skin and wash off only after 45 minutes.

Egg and Honey Skin Cleanser

A cleansing mask that will cleanse the pores and soften the skin. Recommended especially for dry skin.

1 egg yolk
1 Tbsp. honey
1 tsp. olive oil

In a bowl combine all of the ingredients, to form a paste. With a soft pastry or makeup brush, spread the mixture over the face. Leave on for 15 minutes. Remove with cotton wool that has been soaked in warm water, and then splash the skin with cold water, and then pat dry on a soft towel. Moisturize the skin well.

Honey and Cream Face Mask

Especially good for dry skin.

2 Tbsp. sweet cream
4 Tbsp. honey, lightly warmed

Add the cream to the honey, mixing together well. To use, massage the mixture gently onto the face and leave for 15 minutes. Rinse off with warm water and then apply a rich cream moisturizer.

Parsley and Sage Hair Conditioner

To add shine to all types of hair.

2 Tbsp. parsley leaves
2 Tbsp. sage leaves

By hand, crush the parsley and sage leaves. Place the leaves in an earthenware jar and pour over 2 cups of boiling water. Let stand for 30 - 40 minutes and then strain and bottle the mixture.

Egg and Vinegar Shampoo

Especially good to reduce dandruff.

2 egg yolks
2 Tbsp. cider vinegar
(Note: Double the quantities for long hair)

Beat the egg yolks and vinegar together. Wet the hair and then massage in the egg mixture. Leave on for 10 minutes before rinsing off.

Rosemary Hair Rinse

Especially good for highlighting the natural hair color of brunettes.

1 cup rosemary sprigs
2 tea bags (any type of tea)

In a small saucepan bring 2 1/2 cups of water to a boil. Reduce to a simmer, add the rosemary sprigs and tea bags and let simmer for 3- 4 minutes. Pour into an earthenware jar, cover and let stand for 20 minutes. Strain and pour into bottles while still warm.

To use, pour the rinse over the hair, cover the head with a warm, damp towel and leave for several minutes. Rinse off with fresh water.

Honey Hand Cream

Especially useful in the winter to soften chapped hands.

1 cup honey
1 cup rosewater or lavender water

Place the honey in an earthenware jug and place this in a pan of boiling water. Let heat through and then slowly stir the rosewater or lavender water into the honey. Remove from the heat and store in a tightly sealed jar.

Potato Hand Cream

2 medium potatoes, peeled, cooked and mashed
1 Tbsp. sweet almond oil
1 Tbsp. glycerin
1 Tbsp. rosewater

Mix all of the ingredients together and store in a plastic or glass container. To use, heat the mixture gently, stir well and massage warm into the hands for 15 - 20 minutes before washing off with fresh water.

© Daniel Rogov