There was a time when restaurant tipping was the simplest thing in the world, especially if you had a major role in a Hollywood film and a large wad of make-believe money. In one dining-out scene in Billy Wilder's 1954 film, Sabrina Fair, William Holden was obliged to tip no less than thirteen restaurant employees. He doled out cash to the boy who opened the door of his car, the doorman, the hat-cheque girl, the maitre d'hotel who greeted him, the assistant head-waiter who seated him, the wine steward who uncorked his wine, two waiters who served him, the woman who delivered a telephone to his table, the attendant in the men's room, the cigarette girl, a photographer and the young man who returned his parked car. If most restaurants were that well staffed today, the burden of tipping would make the already high price of dining out absolutely unbearable.

Even though the concept of tipping first made its way into the English language and modern tradition in pre-revolutionary America, there are few areas of social politesse that continue to offer more confusion. As Benjamin Franklin observed during his stay in Paris, "to overtip is to appear an ass: to undertip is to appear an even greater ass". Finding the fine balance is not easy.

In its original form, a tip was a gratuity given voluntarily in return for or in anticipation of some service. The French were the first to make the tip mandatory: in 1955 a law was passed requiring every restaurant to add a service charge to every food and beverage bill, regardless of whether it was in the most simple cafe or the most luxurious restaurant. Most people were relieved, for it was thought that such uniformity would make life simpler. Unfortunately, even this did not solve the problem, for in many places and under a variety of circumstances, waiters and waitresses continued to expect an extra tip to be added to the amount that appeared on the bill. One should not judge these people harshly, however, because much of the money added as a "service charge" never got to the people who actually brought the food to the tables. Some of it went to the owner to cover the cost of washing tablecloths and napkins; some went to the dishwasher; some went to the barman; some went to the busboys. The little that remained went to the waiter.

Following, in the hope that it may help some lost soul, is my own completely unofficial guide to restaurant and cafe tipping. These hints are based on the fact that most waiters and waitresses receive only token salaries which are intended to be complemented by tips and on the observable truth that waiting on tables is hard, often frustrating work.

Although some (especially in the United States) feel that the minimally acceptable tip is 20% of the bill), most local waiters agree that an appropriate tip for really good service will be about 15% of the amount of the bill before value added tax. For average service a 10 - 12% tip is considered adequate. In extremely simple restaurants, where one eats at the counter or where service is not an important part of the meal, a tip of 10% is also considered appropriate. In small establishments, where the owner serves you, tips are not expected.

More and more local restaurants and even a few cafes around the world are adopting the French practice of automatically adding a service charge to every bill. In such cases, do not hesitate to ask your waiter or waitress whether that amount is earmarked for them. If it is not (some overly greedy restaurant owners feel that they are entitled to this additional charge), leave an appropriate tip for the person who served you. Keep in mind that in such cases restaurateurs are not only abusing their staff. By forcing us to pay a double service charge, they are also abusing their clients. Personally, I hesitate to return to such places.

There is a civilized European tradition that dictates that if the service has been specially good and has added to the pleasure of the meal, one should not hesitate to leave something above the usual amount. One should also add a small additional amount to the tip if they have requested special services. (Being paged for eight phone calls, asking the waiter to watch your car so that it won't receive a citation or be towed away while you are dining are extra work and should be rewarded appropriately.

Throughout the world, most hotels automatically add a service charge to their restaurant bills. Almost invariably, this 15% charge is divided between the entire house staff, from bus boys and dish washers to waitresses. Hotel waiters and waitresses generally receive a somewhat larger (but still not generous) salary than their brothers and sisters working in other restaurants, but if service has been good it is still considered appropriate to leave an extra tip that will come to between five and ten percent of the bill. This is especially true for a large party that occupied a table or for those who requested special services.

In cafes and pubs, a good rule of thumb is that tips should come to 10 - 15% of the bill, depending primarily on how intricate the service. Here too, however, a certain amount of discretion is in order. If you have consumed a single beer or a lone cup of coffee and have occupied a table for two hours, the tip should take that into consideration and be somewhat more generous. Some cafes have also started adding a service charge directly to the bill. In such cases, where this does go directly to the waiter or waitress, it is not inappropriate to leave a few small coins as an additional tip if the service was good.

And what to do if meal and the service were really bad? If the food was bad, talk to the manager or owner but don't take it out on the waiters - it wasn't their fault. On the other hand, if the service was rude or otherwise bad, thus probably spoiling your meal no matter how good the food might have been, the best revenge is attained by not leaving any tip at all. I agree that "stiffing a waiter", that is to say, not leaving a tip takes a certain amount of courage, but it is, after all, one of the few legitimate forms of revenge one has after suffering at his or her hands. I do not recommended following the example of Humphrey Bogart who, in 1950, after a particularly bad evening at New York's Club 21, called the waiter into the men's room and there knocked him unconscious. Although the waiter did not get a tip, he did successfully sue Bogart for $15,000.

© Daniel Rogov