Possibly because I frequently write in such glowing terms about food, several readers have asked me to recount several of the world's worst dining experiences.
Following are several that always make me smile.

- The worst treatment ever accorded to a chef probably happened in 1955 when Georges LeMaitre was in charge of the kitchens at New York's fashionable "Monte's on the
Park". A middle-aged couple had started their dinner with coquilles Saint-Jacques au gratin, gone on to grilled lobsters and then finished off with peach melba. To the
surprise of the waiter, the couple barely touched their food. When asked if they wanted their dishes replaced, the man merely waved the waiter off with an impatient gesture of his hand.

After the meal, the man asked to see the chef. When LeMaitre arrived at their table, the man stood up, pulled out a pistol, told the chef that "if this is the best you can do, you don't deserve to live", and shot him three times. Fortunately, LeMaitre survived. The man was found criminally insane and spent five years in an insane asylum on Long Island.

- The worst misunderstanding at a restaurant, at least according to restaurateur and cookbook author Prudence Leith, happened to a couple who were visiting the Philipine Islands on holiday. During the meal they realized that their pet poodle, with whom they travelled everywhere, was hungry so they called the waiter over. Because they did not understand the local language they used hand language to explain to the waiter that they wanted suitable food for their dog. The waiter nodded, picked the dog up and hurried off. Forty minutes later later he came back bearing the roasted poodle on a platter.

- The worst beef stew ever made was probably the one known in medieval England as "maumenery rialley" which was made by filling a large pot halfway with meat and then filling the pot to the brim with a mixture of strong sweet wine, cinnamon, soft pine cones, cloves, almonds and beer. After it had been cooked for six or seven hours the dish was served with a strong sauce made with mustard and pepper. A visiting Italian described the dish, as "so detestable, despicable and disgusting that only an Englishman could possibly eat it".

- The worst insults ever exchanged by people sharing a meal may have been those between Sir Winston Churchill and Lady Nancy Astor. Throughout their meal the two kept arguing and as the evening continued their acrimony and sarcasm increased until, finally Lady Nancy snapped "Winston, if I were married to you, I would put poison in your coffee". Churchill retorted: "Nancy, if I were married to you, I would drink it".

© Daniel Rogov